Family life can be full and noisy and crowded. If we are not careful we could raise our head up from the domestic humdrum and find that years have passed with us not moving in the direction that we had hoped for. While it’s easy to throw our hands in the air and moan ‘But I’ve got so much to do!’ it’s vitally important that you create time for yourself.
Time to rest.
Time to re-evaluate
Time to ask yourself what motivates me? What sets my soul on fire? What brings me joy? What do I want my life to look and feel like? Is what I’m doing now taking me in the direction I want to be heading?
It can be so easy as mothers to lose ourselves in the everyday activities and forget our own needs.
So how do you create space for yourself? How can you use free time to connect with yourself and your desires? Here are some ways in which we can create the space and time for ourselves as women.
1/ Use your child-free time wisely
Got a young child? Why not use their nap time to recharge yourself. Forget about the washing up or ironing. Use that time to nourish yourself.
If you have longer periods of time when your kids aren’t around, such as school time, then make sure that you schedule at least 15 mins per day for yourself. If you can make it an hour then even better!
2/ Create and lean on your support network
Being a mother is hard work and can be physically and emotionally draining. Make sure that you are asking your partner or family for help at times.
If you are a single parent, reach out to friends and ask them for an hour of their time every now and then so you can have time for you.
Better yet, try and create a social group of other mothers in your local area and create a play date rota where each of you look after the children, while the other gets time off to spend doing whatever they like.
3/ Structure your evenings
Maybe you work all day and find that the only free time you have is once the kids are in bed. Normally you’d spend your evenings cleaning, watching TV, getting prepared for the next day. Why not create an evening routine that allows you 30 – 60 minutes of you time?
Just pick one night a week and commit to making that a ‘you’ evening , despite everything else that needs to get done. Make yourself a priority.
OK, so now we have created the space but how can we best use this time to really connect with ourselves and our desires?
Start by asking yourself this important question ‘What do I need right now?’
Listen to what your soul and body tell you. Then use our list below as a guide on the kind of activities that could help reconnect you back to yourself.
I need a quiet moment to think
How can you hear your desires and dreams when they are drowned out with the noise and wants of everyone else?
If this is your need then look at starting a simple meditation or journalling practice. Allow yourself 10-15 minutes to start with to sit in silence and clear your head using meditation. Alternatively you may find it more useful to free write in a journal and brain dump all the stuff going round in your head.
Clearing your head of all the ‘noise’ then gives space for your desires and dreams to come back in and make themselves heard. Pay attention to any images or whisperings you hear during these times. Ask yourself ‘What do I desire?’ just before meditating or journalling and listen closely to what comes up.
I need to get outside for some fresh air
If you don’t have the children around maybe use the opportunity to get outside and take a walk. Don’t take any music or electronic devices. Just walk and look around. Marvel at the sky or people watch. Just let your mind wander and body move.
Use this as an opportunity to daydream about your future vision for yourself.
I need to talk to someone
If you feel overwhelmed and lost then the best thing may be to reach out to close friends for support. If you feel like no one around you understands or you cannot confide in them then look for a local support group that you can attend or reach out to.
Talking to others can help us clear our heads and hold us accountable to any action steps we may want to take in order to change things.
I need a creative outlet
Perhaps what you are craving is space to tap into the creativity within you?
Using your spare time to start a hobby at home, or do some online learning in an area you are interested in can be a great way to really nourish your mind and soul.
If you are looking for a creative way to express and clarify what you really desire then doing a vision board can also be a great exercise. Use your free time to start cutting out pictures, photos and words that all show how you want your life to feel and look like.
Starting to put together that vision and allow your desires to represented visually can mean that you start to look for more opportunities to make those dreams a reality.
If you are stuck in a place that you do not like. Or if you feel like as a mother your desires get pushed to the bottom of the pile, recognise the importance of time out and reconnecting.
Only when we take these first baby steps and create the space to wander, breathe and think can the little sparks of magic that lead to bigger and better things appear.
Don’t be afraid to make yourself a priority. Start small and see where it leads you.
If you would like more support around this topic, then please contact me direct to see how I can help you further.